It's funny how feelings can be such a roller coaster. Since the panic attack last Saturday, I have alternated between feeling I really and truly can do this, and feeling I wouldn't have a chance in hell. I was feeling reasonably confident and calm, until yesterday when the Cole Classic organisers sent out the official info email about the race.
In a heading under "Conditions", the email said:
"Current forecasts show that conditions may be challenging. Water safety is managed by Manly LSC and any decisions on potential course changes or cancellation will be made on the day. Please arrive early to assess conditions and do not swim if unsure of your ability. Swimmers enter at their own risk, are responsible for their own physical condition and are urged to have properly trained and have had a recent medical check-up."
Ohhhh, yes, gotta love it. Challenging indeed! I felt my whole belly go down somewhere near my ankles. I've been torn trying to keep an eye on the weather forecast so I can be prepared, to wanting to not know anything at all so I don't have a chance to chicken out and talk myself out of it!
Again, I need to remind myself this is not for me, this is for Can Too and getting those precious dollars to fund these fabulous young researchers who are all searching for the cure for cancer. And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who has sponsored me so far - I have now officially raised $2,039!!! That's almost 2.3% of a researcher - it takes $90,000 a year to fund a single researcher. Not really that much, considering the life saving work they do.
And we have the dinner bid (currently at $850) and the proceeds from our film premiere of Black Swan (10 Feb) to go. Keep those dollars coming, and here's to finishing this darned race - I CAN DO IT!!!
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